Melancholic. Pros and cons of temperament, character of a person

Different people react to the same event in completely different ways, which is directly related to the type of their temperament. Temperament is a set of mental and spiritual personality characteristics that determine what moods and processes (inhibition, calmness or excitement) prevail in a particular personality. Allocate 4

type of temperament - melancholic, sanguine, choleric and phlegmatic, each of which has its own characteristics, pluses and minuses.

Who is a melancholic, general characterization

The description of each type of temperament was first encountered in the works of the famous thinker and healer of Ancient Greece, Hippocrates. Subsequently, this topic was continued by another philosopher Galen. Both researchers believed that human temperament depends on a kind of "life juice" that flows in the human body. They believed that melancholic people have black bile flowing, which sounds in Greek as "malena hole", from which the name of this type of temperament actually originated.

Melancholic people are considered gloomy and depressed people, which is associated with their increased sensitivity and resentment. Indeed, unlike choleric or sanguine people, melancholic people often attach importance to those things and events that the former would not even pay attention to. They are extremely touchy, but at the same time they themselves are capable of compassion, therefore they are very complicit and are always ready to help.

The main features that characterize a melancholic person include:

• sensitivity;
• self-doubt;
• impressionability;
• focus on yourself and your inner world, isolation;
• desire for solitude;
• shyness and timidity;
• emotionality.

Melancholic people are very vulnerable and, when they get into an unpleasant situation, they take it hard, scrolling through all the details in their heads for a long time and trying to understand what their fault was. Such people are more prone to depression than others, they are more likely to have suicidal thoughts.

Melancholic man

For melancholic men, romanticism is more characteristic than others. Falling in love, they look after a woman very beautifully and know how to pleasantly surprise her. In order for the ardor of such a man not to fade away, he should be praised, treats him with care, affection and tenderness. Building relationships, melancholic men treat them anxiously and most often have the most serious views on their chosen one.

This type of men lacks self-confidence and, due to excessive shyness and shyness, they often remain alone. It is also difficult for them to open up and prove themselves in business and building a career, since excessive emotionality and sensitivity prevent them from fully showing their business acumen.

Moreover, most of these men are conscientious workers and excellent performers. The ideal life scenario for them is marriage to a sophisticated girl who will understand them, and stable intellectual or creative work in the middle level.

Melancholic woman

Women with a melancholic type of temperament are faithful wives, good, sensitive mothers. For them, everything related to marriage and family is of special value, and they often sacrifice themselves for the sake of the family. They are fully satisfied that the role of the breadwinner, as was customary before, is played by a man in the family. If they strive to do something else besides home and everyday life, then they are most successful in doing this in professions of a creative orientation.

Typically, melancholic women avoid noisy companies and seek solitude. They have few friends and girlfriends, they hardly make new acquaintances. Such girls are very immersed in their inner world, their experiences. They are very dreamy, prone to self-criticism and deep introspection. Their most important problem is self-doubt, which is why they often consider themselves unattractive and experience a number of difficulties in life.

 Melancholic child

Melancholic children differ from their peers by excessive shyness, modesty and shyness. They are very kind and vulnerable. They do not strive, like most children, to move and play with other children all the time, since they are afraid of the conflicts and disputes that arise. A melancholic child feels best around his parents and loved ones, as he can fully trust them.

Usually such children are highly intellectual, but the natural pressure arising from their temperament prevents them from expressing themselves and opening up. For a melancholic child, it is a common situation when he knew well what to answer in the lesson, but preferred to remain silent because of embarrassment. Parents should try to correct the child's character and strive to help him get rid of excessive shyness and self-doubt, since later this will greatly interfere with his life.

How to recognize a melancholic?

The melancholic, the pros and cons of whose behavior will be discussed later in the article, differs from other types of temperament, first of all, by its depression and pessimism. These two qualities strongly affect all spheres of life of a melancholic personality, since it is difficult for such people to defend their innocence, achieve their goals and look at life with optimism.

If you give a brief description of a melancholic person, then we can say that this is a compassionate, closed and very vulnerable introvert (an individual aimed at his inner world).

Even outwardly, melancholic people differ in many ways from other types. Usually they have an asthenic physique, move timidly and uncertainly. Such people speak quietly, sometimes indistinctly, but not because they have problems with diction, but because of their own shyness.

Most often, melancholic people are in a bad mood and, as it were, charge everyone around with their negativity, constantly saying phrases like "everything is very bad", "nothing will come of it." There are many melancholic people among talented creative people.

How a melancholic behaves when he lies

Melancholic people rarely lie, because, firstly, they do not know how to do it, and secondly, they are not particularly prone to lying. If a melancholic has to lie, then it happens extremely awkwardly and it will be quite easy to recognize that he is telling a lie. At this moment, such a person's movements become chaotic and scattered, he takes his eyes to the side (running glance), cannot clearly express his thoughts, since they are very confused with him.

Character pros

The melancholic, the pros and cons of which are described in the article, is for the most part considered a depressive type who does not have any positive qualities, except for responsiveness and kindness. For many people, melancholy is associated with a kind of dullness, dullness and hopelessness. However, in addition to the fact that melancholic people are actually very sympathetic and kind, they also have a number of other advantages that people with other types of temperament cannot boast of.

Melancholic people are wonderful creators and thinkers

A famous melancholic was the German writer Franz Kafka. In his work, melancholy is fully reflected, since in his works he very often touches on the themes of absurdity and doom.

Also, melancholic people include:

• Ch. Darwin;
• NS. Tchaikovsky;
• N. Gogol.

Indeed, the prevailing melancholy in the character contributes to the development of the desire for solitude and active mental activity. Melancholic people make excellent artists, writers, musicians, actors, as they can, due to its sensitivity, accurately enter the image and recreate it as emotionally and true.

If a melancholic does not have a penchant for creativity, then he can prove himself in monotonous work that requires perseverance and concentration (accountant, programmer).

Melancholic people can be happy

It is believed that it is melancholic people who more often than others feel unhappy and tend to complain about fate. There is some truth in this, but this fact does not mean at all that they cannot be happy.

Melancholic people feel unhappy because of lack of fulfillment in some area or even several, because because of shyness, shyness and resentment sometimes it is very difficult to build both a personal life and to achieve a professional recognition. If a melancholic person realizes his problems and works on himself, then he has every chance to live fully and happily.

Self-reflective tendency

Self-reflection and introvertism (withdrawal) of melancholic people can be both a plus and a minus. The positive point is that such people tend to conduct a deep analysis of their thoughts, actions and events happening to them, which helps them to develop internally and improve.

On the other hand, such self-digging should not completely take over a person, since otherwise he will quickly will lose interest in everything in the world except his person, which will significantly limit his growth and development in all life spheres.

Psychologist skills

The habit of conducting a mental deep analysis of various events over time helps melancholic people learn to understand people no worse than certified psychologists. Often melancholic personalities keep diaries, where they detail all their experiences on the shelves. The experience gained over the years allows them to separate the bad from the good and intuitively accurately predict the course of events.

Deep mind

Melancholic people have a deep and inquisitive mind. If they are interested in some question, then they will definitely get to the bottom of it. They see no reason to study and delve into something superficially. The downside of such a feature is that they do not tend to study everything at once and therefore it may seem that the circle of their interests is rather narrow.

But this is not entirely true. They may have many interests, but due to the peculiarities of their melancholic temperament, they prefer not to be sprayed on everything, like, for example, choleric people, but really deeply study one area or be realized in a specific narrow area (creativity, motherhood, scientific Job).

Restraint

Melancholic people know how to be silent when necessary, as they are very tactful and subtly feel when it is appropriate to speak out, and when it is better to refrain from it. When talking with other people, they never interrupt and know how to listen.

Cons of temperament

A melancholic, whose character pluses are considered in general terms, also has negative sides or minuses that may not reflect in the best way on his own life.

Bad organizers

Melancholic people are good performers when it comes to routine work (programmers, accountants), and they also perfectly reveal their inner world in creativity, if they have some inclinations. At the same time, activities that require pressure and suppression of the will of other people are not suitable for them. It will be difficult for them where they have to regularly experience stress, face rudeness and rejection (sales, business).

Melancholic people rarely become the soul of the company and informal leaders in everyday life, since, in in general, they do not particularly strive to learn how to win the attention of other people, simply because they do not necessary.

Vulnerability and resentment

Melancholic people are extremely touchy and vulnerable people. They often attach importance to things that a person with a different type of temperament would not even notice. Offended, melancholic personalities accumulate negativity in themselves for years, since they remember the misdeeds of other people very well and often mentally constantly return to this or that painful situation for them.

This perception of life, first of all, harms them themselves, since, getting stuck in the past and getting hung up on it, they give a significant part of their energy for meaningless reasoning, which negatively affects their desire to learn something new and move forward.

Pessimism

Melancholic people are those people who do not expect anything good from life and are pessimistic about any undertakings and initiatives. This can be expressed in sarcastic comments and ridicule, as well as in panic, which they can fall into under certain circumstances. Such attitudes in life only intensify over the years, which is associated with the accumulated experience and grievances of the melancholic.

Knowing this peculiarity of a person, many try to avoid communicating with him, since most people do not like listening to gloomy predictions about their ideas, if they share their plans and want something achieve.

Slowness

This trait is possessed not only by phlegmatic people, but also by melancholic people. It is difficult to wait for a quick decision from them, and if you try to put pressure on a melancholic, then you can make yourself an enemy who will be sure all his life that he made a mistake precisely because of this haste.

When solving both current and global issues, melancholic people prefer to approach the matter thoroughly and seriously, having thoroughly considered all the arguments and weighing all the pros and cons, which in itself requires considerable time costs.

Need for approval

The melancholic is very motivated by the high assessment of his work. It is important for him to know that the efforts did not go unnoticed, and he does something for a reason. Otherwise, such people may have resentment, it will seem to them that they are not appreciated and their efforts are not needed by anyone. As a result, melancholic people very quickly lose motivation, get offended and may even become depressed.

Propensity for depression and mental illness

It is not at all necessary that every melancholic will necessarily face depression in his life, but psychologists and psychiatrists have every reason to believe that this type is more prone to the development of various kinds of mental diseases. Often, these diseases proceed unnoticed by others (especially depression), which ultimately can lead to irreparable - a complete loss of interest in life, suicide.

Perfectionism

Another striking feature of the melancholic type of character is perfectionism or the desire to do everything perfectly and the demand for the same from others. Such people tend to set high standards for others and for themselves.

The fact that people in most cases do not live up to his expectations and hopes greatly upsets the melancholic, but even more so upset by the fact that he himself does not always comply with the rules and regulations invented by him and thus, in his opinion, fails others. As a result, the melancholic's already low self-esteem falls even more and he begins to be tormented by a painful feeling of guilt and shame because of his own imperfection.

Relationship with a melancholic

A melancholic, whose pros and cons of his character determine the individual behavior of a person, does not always easily, unlike choleric and sanguine people, build relationships with the people around him.

In personal life, it can be difficult at times with a melancholic partner, but in general, such people are excellent allies, since they are ready for a lot for the sake of their other half, parents, children. They are always happy to help, they experience the pain of a loved one as their own. If someone has problems in the family, such a person never withdraws, but always plunges headlong into the situation and makes every effort to help.

It is important for family members of a melancholic to learn to accept him for who he is and to condescend to his whining and pessimism. The melancholic loves to feel needed, therefore it is important to make it clear to him with his actions and words that this is this is exactly what it is, and then he will give his family and loved ones the most valuable thing that he possesses - his great loving a heart.

Raising a melancholic

Raising a melancholic child requires parents to be very sensitive and compassionate. If parents have a different temperament, especially if they are choleric or phlegmatic, then it may sometimes be difficult for them to understand their child. It will seem to them that all his grievances are far-fetched and that he is lagging behind in studies, since he is not smart enough, at that time how a vulnerable and timid child can easily hold up for a long time after an unfair remark from a parent or teachers.

It is important for parents of melancholic children, first of all, to learn to understand their child, show patience with him, show their love in every possible way and support all his undertakings. Their main task is to make him feel confident in his home environment, which will greatly help in communication and learning at school, as well as in later adult life.

What to work for a melancholic: top 10 professions

It is easiest for melancholic people to realize themselves in areas where they do not need to constantly contact people or communication with them is not active, imposing, as, for example, in sales, services, management. Most of all, melancholic people like leisurely measured work, requiring concentration on trifles. Also, such people can be realized in some creative professions, if they have the necessary natural inclinations.

Top 10 professions in which a melancholic has more chances to realize himself and prove himself:

• Scientist.
• Teacher (teacher).
• Accountant, economist, financier.
• Educator.
• Programmer.
• Architect.
• Designer.
• Singer, musician.
• Painter.
• Jeweler.

Compatibility with other types of temperament

The melancholic, the pros and cons of whose character have been discussed in detail in the article, is in varying degrees compatible with other types of temperament.

With choleric

It is very difficult for a melancholic to get along with an active and explosive choleric person. The choleric person is not tactful and, without choosing particular words, likes to make fun of others, which is very painful for the melancholic.

With a sanguine

The best option for compatibility, since a sanguine person does not have that causticity and eccentricity as in a choleric person, but at the same time he is also energetic, sociable and, most importantly, looks at life with optimism.

He, as it were, "pulls out" the melancholic, periodically bothers him and does not allow him to fall into despondency and depression, while he knows how to do it delicately and does not go beyond boundaries.

With phlegmatic

At first glance, it seems that the slowness of both types should somehow contribute to their unity and mutual understanding, but apart from this common feature, they have no more points of contact. In fact, a phlegmatic person is very different from a melancholic and does not know how to demonstrate his emotions, and even more so to understand how others feel.

This is a cold type of temperament, characterized by its indifference and calmness. Not showing feelings on his part causes complete bewilderment and misunderstanding in a vulnerable melancholic, who begins to blame himself for the current situation and look for the reasons for the partner's aloofness.

With a melancholic

The most unfortunate combination, since 2 melancholic people will endlessly take offense at each other and find out which of them is more to blame. In addition, in this union there is no rod that would pull them out of a depressive state and pessimism and give an incentive to live and move on. For this reason, in such couples, people, faced with all sorts of difficulties, often become addicted to any substances (drugs, alcohol) or go to religion or sect.

How can a melancholic become self-confident?

It is believed that the type of temperament is inherent in a person from birth and it is difficult to change it. However, at the same time, you can work on character and correct those moments that you don't like about yourself. There are not so many pure types of temperaments in society, which makes it possible for melancholic people to become more self-confident. It also often happens that life's difficulties and circumstances temper the character of the melancholic and make him stronger.

In order to feel more confident, melancholic people can:

Work on yourself on your own	avoid contact with toxic people; exercise; practice an active lifestyle (long walks, sports); observe the correct daily routine (it is important to get enough sleep); to develop a new, normal reaction to any stimulus - to block the emerging feelings of guilt, resentment, shame every time they arise.
Seek help from a psychologist	With the help of various techniques (cognitive-behavioral therapy, hypnosis, suggestion, auto-training), a psychologist can help to work out the most disturbing attitudes in life related to temperament: timidity; resentment; excessive vulnerability; tightness, self-doubt.

For many, a melancholic temperament is associated with depression and pessimism, but in reality he has both minuses and pluses and not always a person with this type of character is unhappy and morose.

Usually melancholic people are very sympathetic and kind people, always ready to help others. If the melancholic is appreciated and loved and he works on himself and tries to cope with excessive resentment and vulnerability, then he has every chance of living a happy and fulfilling life, just like people with other types temperament.

Video about melancholic

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