Midlife crisis in men, women. Symptoms after 30, 40, 50 years. In how many starts, how much lasts, what to do, how to survive

midlife crisis for women and men is a turning point in life, and marks the beginning of something new. The road on which the person goes is not a straight line, on the contrary, it tends to change its direction, winding in one direction and then in another direction.

Tired travelers from time to time have to stop at the fork and think about where it might lead each of the paths. And then you need to make the right choice ...

What is a midlife crisis

By midlife crisis meant an unstable psycho-emotional state of a mature manWho is at a critical stage of their lives. By this time, the sum certain personal self-esteem, which is formed under the influence analytical relationship to himself, his position in society and the results of its own activity.

The crisis period is often accompanied revision vital reference, internal changes in a person, deep emotional experiences, and sometimes ill-considered actions.

When it's a midlife crisis

Because each person is unique in its nature, and the precise age boundaries of the transitional period can not be determined. The average time interval, characterized by the onset of this complex period - from age 35 to 50 years.

Although observation of psychologists, the crisis may come in earlier and later times, thus extending the respective age range from 25 to 60.

how long is

Crisis duration depends on how much a person is willing to accept yourself, the existing life circumstances and the laws of the world, as well as summing up the final line, see Beyond its personal development.

On the harmonization of the internal state of a person can come to 50 years or even earlier, however, in some cases, the 50-year milestone becomes another psychological test for hero of the day.

Reasons midlife crisis

Throughout his adult life, both men and women are going through some critical periods that It can be divided into 4 stages corresponding 25-, 30-, 40- and 50 years of age.

The causes of the crisis are external and internal. They depend on an appropriate level of personal development and the specificity of the problems with which man has to face at some time in their lives.

Ways of the crisis for both genders can be both general and distinctive character.

Table 1. Causes of the crisis in different age periods

Age	men	Among women
25 years	The transition from adolescence to adulthood, entry into independent life, the search for the meaning of existence, career choices, financial constraints, building a family, discrepancy with the actual desired inflated or low self-esteem, unrequited love, problems in relationships with the opposite sex, a reluctance grow up.
Uncertainty in their own abilities, inner unwillingness to take responsibility.	Unsettled personal life, the choice between marriage and career, lack of attention from men, age indicator, external flaws.
30 years	Summing up the results of the first life, the revision of the main landmarks, the search for new priorities, problems at work and in the family, financial insolvency.
The discrepancy between the intended and achieved goals, the collapse of youthful hope when dealing with hard reality.	The inevitability of choice between family and career, the absence of her husband and children, awareness of the transience of time, age-related changes in appearance.
40 years	Setbacks in his career and family life, reduced vitality, reduced physical endurance, health problems, separation grown up children, caring for elderly parents.
A sense of community standards discrepancies, financial insolvency, increased demands on himself, forming rigid units, a decrease of physical attractiveness.	Lack of implementation of the work or family lack of confidence in their own husband, no children, hazy vision of the future, the outward signs of aging.
50 years	High age index mismatch results achieved desired, decreased performance, chronic diseases, changes in appearance, problems with spouse (wife), approach old age.
The absence or lack of self-realization, the outward signs of aging, problems in the sexual sphere.	Hormonal changes the body, age-related changes, problems of a sexual nature, unsuccessful careers, reducing the demand on the labor market, financial difficulties.

Signs of midlife crisis

Symptoms come crisis in a particular case depends not only on the nature, temperament characteristics of the human nervous system, but also on its formed at this stage outlook. As reasons, they may be common to both sexes and specific depending on the gender.

Age	men	Among women
25 years	Fear of adulthood, self-doubt, doubt when choosing a career and a life partner, feeling dissatisfaction, depression, apathy, and a feeling of sadness and hopelessness, self-flagellation, comparing ourselves to others, desire for change.
A sense of inferiority, anxiety, isolation.	Disappointment in men, the fear of loneliness, age concern, dissatisfaction with appearance.
30 years	Doubts about the correctness of the chosen path, dissatisfaction with the profession, regret about something undone, fear not achieve success, fear of being late, comparing yourself with people of the same age, jealousy, loneliness, a manifestation of self-pity currently.
Dissatisfaction with the result of professional work, a sense of worthlessness, loss of aspirations for career growth, cooling in the relationship with his wife.	Rejection of his age, longing for leaving youth, any claims to his wife, unjustified jealousy, depression in the absence of family and children.
40 years	Dissatisfaction with the outcome of the lived life span, feelings about his age, regret about the past youth and the lost opportunities, the awareness of his mistakes, health concerns, irritability, fear future.
Fear not cope with their responsibilities, trying to catch up, the desire to cardinal life changes, dissatisfaction with the appearance of his wife and his own reckless actions isolation.	Frequent change of sentiment, sentiment, increased vulnerability, a sense of insecurity, a critical assessment of their appearance, an active search for anti-aging techniques.
50 years	Negative perception of their age, dissatisfaction with the achievements in the professional field, nostalgic memories, vague ideas about the future, a clearer awareness of the finiteness of life, re-evaluation of life values.
Self-doubt, dissatisfaction with their appearance, the desire to look young, a desire for change.	The feeling of frustration because of family problems or unsuccessful career dissatisfaction with their status, nervousness, increased vulnerability, sentimentality.

How to survive the crisis of middle age alone

midlife crisis in men and women may initially appear very quietly and hide under the guise of a bad mood, well-being, unusual desires and actions. In the normal state, all these factors are short and some are dependent on external circumstances.

However, if these symptoms are recurrent, and the internal arrangement of a person becomes a constant and often unjustified environmental reality, should take urgent measures for self-healing.

First of all, it is important to understand that the problem is not outside, but inside the person. The onset of spiritual imbalance - a signal of the need for internal restructuring, spiritual growth, change their attitude to the world and decision making right.

middle age crisis, both men and women need to try to correct.

To do this:

1. Look inside yourself, to conduct a thorough analysis of its internal state, to try to find the causes of anxiety and draw the appropriate conclusions.
2. Carefully review the entire life experience and a sober assessment of the lived period of time.
3. Take a look at your past is not only critical, but also a positive point of view, enjoying victories (any, even the most insignificant) and sensing errors as inevitable life lessons, appeals to the spiritual growth.
4. Clearly see their position and the circumstances of the time.
5. I realize that life is not over, and today's milestone - just a breather before the next start.
6. Given the shortcomings of the past and real opportunities, set the desired goal and make a plan for further action.
7. To act according to the plan, opening to a new perspective.

These general guidelines should be used not only for some material needs, but, first of all, to work over itself, because without solving the internal problem, it is impossible to achieve the desired emotional balance and order in their own thoughts.

midlife crisis in men and women has a lot in common. But, despite this, the formation of internal discomfort among representatives of different sexes originates from various vital installations.

If the basis of the men's priorities, as a rule, is a successful career woman, even reached professional heights, can not be regarded as a fully implemented outside the family and motherhood. For this reason, the way to overcome the trials of life, in both cases may be both general and distinctive character.

Man self out of the crisis it is necessary:

1. Accept himself as he is.
2. Find the strength to recognize not only a personal victory, but defeat.
3. Do not build castles in the air, to set a harder task.
4. Realize that life is not only to overcome the steps of the career ladder.
5. Learn to appreciate what is in reality.
6. Pay more attention to the living to communicate with his wife and children.
7. Not to withdraw into themselves, to share their feelings with loved ones.

A woman for self-overcoming of the crisis is necessary to:

1. To see a normal woman with its own advantages and disadvantages.
2. In the presence of a happy family, but there is no public spheres of life, to find a suitable job.
3. If career took place, but no family, try not to miss the last chance to become a wife and mother.
4. Choose for yourself interesting occupation or hobby.
5. Change the external image.
6. Learn to overcome selfishness.
7. Give love to your neighbor.

The last two points are perhaps the most important, because by switching their attention to other women easily forget about their own problems. In addition, it is an expression of love in all its manifestations is able to transform the fairer sex and make them truly happy.

How to help close cheloveuku overcome the crisis

Even in the most affluent families such a thing as a midlife crisis can relate to each of the spouses. Critical of equally affects both the stronger and the weaker sex.

midlife crisis in men manifests itself more sharply and often requires the help and support of the weak half.

To help her husband overcome the spiritual crisis, a woman needs:

1. Try to forget about their own problems and focus on the status of her husband.
2. How can I spend more time with him.
3. Conduct confidential conversations, not giving the man to withdraw into themselves.
4. Every negative statement spouse oppose compelling arguments demonstrating its intelligence, strength, ability and actual achievements.
5. Surround with care and attention of her husband.
6. How can you convince a spouse more often that it is appreciated, loved and very much in need of it.
7. To persuade her husband to take a holiday, and to organize a joint trip.

If the wave of the crisis overwhelmed homemaker, and she is unable to solve the problem on their own, it is time for a spouse to prove in practice that it is a reliable protection and support for his favorite.

To help women get out of the crisis, a man needs:

1. Try to build a trusting dialogue in order to understand the cause of inner feelings of his wife.
2. Prepare for all the negative female undeniable arguments the opposition, revealing the full dignity and personal merits his own half.
3. Constantly remind the woman that she is loved and desired.
4. To show his attitude toward his wife, shifting a part of her household duties, patiently listening to the complaints, generously endowing favorite compliments and gifts.
5. Spend together with his wife all his spare time.
6. Often remember the happiest moments of their life together.
7. To discuss the prospects and plans for the near future.

How to save a marriage in midlife crisis spouses

Age crisis in one or both spouses at the same time, can affect the deterioration of family relationships, especially if the situation within the family and without poor.

If the couple lived in an atmosphere of mutual love and harmony, it is unlikely this issue will affect its fate. However, in any case, you should be alert and all the forces trying to keep peace in the family.

To do this:

1. Seen in their second half of a loved one, which connects not only marriage, common children, but also those years together, filled with both joyful and sad events.
2. Carefully and condescendingly refer to the spouse (wife), is in crisis.
3. Try to overcome your own ego by sending its forces to support the one who needs help.
4. Remember that perfect people do not exist, and reject the false dream that with someone else life might have been happier.
5. Learn to appreciate the human, which is near and whose qualities, both positive and negative, are already well known.
6. Use the crisis as an opportune time for greater convergence with each other and strengthen the relationship.
7. Begin to build joint plans for the future.

The consequences of midlife crisis

Spiritual crisis - it is an internal struggle of man with himself, which may result in a triumphant victory or complete defeat. The result depends on the characteristics of the personality, which entered a critical phase.

midlife crisis in men and women can have both positive and negative consequences.

Positive effects of the crisis:

• awareness of oneself as a person walking on their own path of development;
• make their own mistakes and shortcomings to further their correction;
• vision of its real possibilities and prospects;
• preparation for the next stage of life (starting a new career, social activities, family);
• strengthening the moral and spiritual strength;
• acquisition of personal spiritual experience.

The negative effects of the crisis:

• disappointment in life;
• loss of faith in their own strength;
• interruption of careers;
• care of the family;
• alcoholism, drug addiction;
• heavy mental disorder requiring treatment.

psychologists advise

To midlife crisis is not caught unawares, you must advance to arm boards of professional psychologists who The following recommendations are offered for a successful fight against the crisis:

1. Look at life without rose-colored glasses, then the probability of falling into the harsh reality will be reduced significantly.
2. Stop to look back into the past and dreaming about the future, trying to live here and now.
3. Try to establish harmony with itself, correlating with the desired valid.
4. Properly assess their capabilities, not setting themselves inflated straps.
5. Learn to appreciate what we have.
6. Do not cultivate the personal selfishness, trying to take more care of their family members.
7. Remember that in life there are no dead ends - of any, even the most difficult situation, we can find at least the only way out.

midlife crisis for women and men can become both a serious challenge and the beginning of new victories. It is important to choose the right way to build relevant priorities and realize that happiness does not depend on external factors, it is formed within the person if it is capable of testing quiet joy even when encountering the upcoming day.

Author: Yelena Dontsova

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